We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
