do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
