Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
