bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
