I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
