Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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