I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
