Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
