Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
