He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
