Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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