Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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