Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
