don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
