Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
