So drunk, too bad you don't want this
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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