yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
