We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They took my balls.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
