Nicole vs. Life
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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