I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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