My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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