Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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