Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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