How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
