God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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