Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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