Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I will pee on everything he values.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
