Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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