i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
