Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
