"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
