isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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