So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
