when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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