drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
