is your mom at the bar?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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