Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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