tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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