we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
