dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
organizing the empties. That sober.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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