A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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