But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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