Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
