and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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