A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
