I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
