I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
