She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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