I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize