Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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