I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
