I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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