thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize