He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Randomize
