but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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