I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
