What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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