I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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